Last night was one of the most intense conversations Angela and I had. To give you a background, it was an aftermath of the fight we had and she was pointing all my shortcomings and immaturities one after the other. She’s on attack-mode and I was on the defensive side trying to escape but to no avail. Here’s a blow-by-blow recap of what happened:
She began the bout by saying that there’s something missing in our relationship, that we’re not ok, we were just going with the flow. I tried to counter by saying that we only had one struggle in our relationship but aside from it, I think we’re doing good. She then responded with a flurry of other struggles that we’re dealing with and I was caught off-guard (as couples we all have struggles right? So i prefer not to divulge ours here). She’s right. I was stunned and I could not recover. Round 1: Angela
She continued with hooks and jabs of how immature I am and these are solid blows to my pride. She’s pointing out that I prefer corrective actions rather than preventive actions because I want the easy way out, I want comfort. I don’t want serious talks, I only want happy talks rather than real talks. I only want pleasurable moments instead of brainstorming moments. I want the recess but not the subject.
In the middle of our conversation I was laughing because she was ridiculously right. But deep inside I’m asking “How could I miss those points out? How come that I’m the man but she’s the one instructing me?”. But I guess it just goes to show how prideful I am. I’m on the rope and I couldn’t escape. Luckily I was saved by the bell. Round 2 goes to her as well.
I’m gasping for air and I’m just waiting for the bout to end. I know I could not block her jabs with my pride anymore because it has already been exposed. In any moment she could knock me out with a big uppercut. Luckily she didn’t and so we go to the decision.
Obviously, she’s the hands-down winner of the night. But what she said is something that I would remember for the rest of my life. Even though she has every right to brag, she said this to me, “I don’t want to be right, I want you to be right.” As her leader, she wants me to be right. She wants me to stand up for her and be matured. It only reveals her motivation for the fight, she was not fighting with me, she was fighting for me.
She only wants the best for me and she wants to share the victory with me! What a fight, we both ended up as winners!
Thank you Angela for mirroring God’s grace in our relationship. Thank you for your open rebukes coupled with the patience that endures. I lost but I’m still the winner. All the more that I should act like a champ, fight like a champ, stand-up like a champ. Especially for a girl who lives like you do. Your love doesn’t knock me out, it knocks me off of my feet.
To all the men out there, face your relationship issues head-on. Fight for her and not fight with her (be gentle in your words). Don’t fight to be right, fight to make each other right. Let love move you to fight the right way. Stop bickering, a nice, good and clean fight is all you need. 🙂